GOV.UK
No.10 North
Manchester Branch

Our record

A transparent overview of our achievements, prepared by us, audited by us, signed off by us, and quietly amended by us if you scroll down to check tomorrow.

Key performance indicators

1
Leadership bids launched (this morning, very suddenly)
9 yrs
Spent saying we would never launch one
47
Trams named after self
312
Times the word 'Westminster' said with a slight head-shake
£0.00
Spent on humility consultants (cost-cutting success)
0
Seats currently held in Parliament
1,206
Photographs in front of brick walls
10
Downing Streets we now consider to be 'ours'

Milestones

  1. 2017
    Elected mayor.

    Promised to never use the role as a springboard. Springs purchased shortly afterwards as a precaution.

  2. 2021
    Re-elected mayor.

    Promised, again, to never use the role as a springboard. Springs upgraded.

  3. 2024
    Definitely-not-a-launch tour.

    Six cities in eight days. Coincidentally all in Labour-held constituencies. Coincidentally each event followed by a friendly column.

  4. 2026
    No.10 North opens.

    Press release insists the building is 'just a constituency office', which is impressive given the building has no constituency.

Independent audit

This page has been independently verified by a friend of the Mayor who would prefer not to be named, but who can confirm everything here is "broadly fine, probably".