The latest from the No.10 North press office. All stories embargoed until 30 seconds after the political editor of the BBC has tweeted about them.
The Mayor confirmed his candidacy at a tram-side press conference, insisting the decision was taken 'only in the last forty seconds' and had 'absolutely nothing to do' with the nine-year campaign that preceded it.
In a statement of total loyalty, the Mayor offered the Prime Minister his 'unwavering support during this difficult transition that I am personally engineering'.
A No.10 North spokesperson denied the van was theirs, before being photographed loading a labelled box marked 'Andy's mugs (do not open)'.
A YouGov poll of 1,200 adults, commissioned by a think tank founded yesterday, shows the Mayor leads decisively in the demographic 'columnists who once met him at a fringe event'.
In a 1,800-word essay for three Sunday supplements simultaneously, the Mayor explains that not being an MP is, on reflection, his biggest strength.
Reports are circulating that several backbenchers in safe northern seats have begun 'considering their future', following a friendly visit from a man in a scarf carrying a tape measure.
A 92-page binder marked TOP SECRET: DEFINITELY A LEADERSHIP BID was found in seat 14A of the 08:35 to Euston. No.10 North has launched an inquiry into who 'so professionally' left it there.
A thoughtful 4,000-word reflection on humility, published opposite a full-page advert for the author's new book, 'Why Not Me?'.
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