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Statutory snack notice

Cookie policy

Like all modern democracies, our website runs almost entirely on small text files and large undeclared interests.

1. What is a cookie?

A cookie is a small file stored on your device that allows us to remember you across visits, in much the same way Andy remembers which TV studio has the best lighting. There are two kinds:

  • Essential cookies — required for the site to function, e.g. the one that keeps the "Vote Andy" banner visible no matter how many times you close it.
  • Non-essential cookies — required for Andy to function, e.g. the one that pings his comms team every time someone reads a page about Keir.

2. The cookies we use

NamePurposeExpires
_andy_sessionRemembers that you exist, briefly.Until next reshuffle
_keir_denialAuto-denies any leadership ambition for the duration of your visit.9 years
_scarf_prefStores your preferred scarf knot for personalised photo ops.Permanent
_freespeech_auditLogs everything you typed but didn't post. For your protection.Indefinite
_wakey_winesThird-party. We're not asking what it does.Lockdown era
_burnham_smileDetects if you've been looking sad and serves a stock photo of Andy in a hard hat.Until election

3. Third-party cookies

We share a small amount of cookie data with the following trusted partners: the Labour Party, the other bit of the Labour Party that isn't speaking to that bit, three think tanks no one has heard of, a "strategic comms agency" run by someone's brother-in-law, and one (1) baker in Leigh who keeps phoning.

4. Your choices

You may, in theory, refuse non-essential cookies. To do so, simply click the button below and complete the 47-page consultation entitled "Have your say on cookies", which will be reviewed by a panel of advisers, summarised by a SpAd, ignored by the Cabinet Office and then announced as policy at next year's conference.

5. Cookie banner

We do not display a cookie banner because, frankly, you have enough to deal with. We have instead silently assumed your consent on the basis of a YouGov poll commissioned by us, which found that 64% of voters in the North "back Andy Burnham on cookies".

6. Real biscuits

For the avoidance of doubt, this policy does not cover physical biscuits. The Mayor's personal biscuit preferences are a matter of national security and are exempt under section 23 of the Freedom of Information Act, the Genoise Convention, and frankly, common decency.

Last updated: whenever a journalist next asks. See also our Terms and conditions and Privacy policy.